Too Attached to the Election

but it doesn't mean that everything will 'be all right'

This is a political post. It was written after a lot of thought. There are a lot of words here and I already know that it might not be the best written work I’ve ever done. It might not ‘flow.’ And it may not seem logical to you. Or you just might disagree. But it’s the only way I can move on. I became too attached to the election.

I’m a conflict resolution guy. It’s what I do. Conflict resolution comes in many forms. When I was a full-time lawyer, we practiced conflict resolution through the courtroom. Most people I know practice conflict resolution by simply avoiding it. Once, while I was speaking to the command group at an air force base about conflict management, the base commander reminded me that his supersonic bomber crews and maintenance personnel were all in conflict resolution. My line of conflict resolution, while direct, has an ultimate goal of restoring relationships and building a better future. And that’s why I became too attached to the presidential election.

Everyone had their reasons for voting for Mr. Trump or Mrs. Clinton.

Some were substantive. You really studied and were in favor of one political platform over another.

Others were relational reasons. You come from a long line of Republicans or Democrats and you find comfort in supporting that continuity of direction and honoring your heritage or your close group of friends — even though we know that neither party has been overwhelmingly consistent through history AND that the collective judgment of most social groups is suspect.

Some of you voted one way or the other because of religious motivations. Many of you told me how one candidate was the devil while the other one was the instrument of God. I think that those of you who voted out of religious conscience, for the most part, did so because of your genuine desire to build a society on godly values. That is a good thing.

However, for some of you, it gave you license to act in ungodly, menacing ways. And it hurt me, it hurt others, and it hurt God’s cause when you decided that any means would justify the ends. Jesus’ consistent story line was that the means were the most important thing. In fact, his promise was that if we line up our lives to do good, to speak well, and to love all, the ends would be taken care of — by God’s mercy and love. At this intersection you can follow all sorts of side trails to topics like faith, hope, and love. I’m just leaving this here.

Some of you voted to satisfy symbolic interests. Mr. Trump is going to shake up the establishment. Mrs. Clinton is going to be the first woman President. Mr. Trump is going to show the rest of the world that the United States is a dominating force. Mrs. Clinton acts more presidential. Symbolic interests are important. However, they prove to be a destabilizing factor if there is no foundational support.

So, we all had our reasons for voting the way we did. And we voted. And our system allowed us to make a decision. The decision was made. Yes, Mrs. Clinton won the popular vote. More voters wanted her as President. But remember that’s happened before. Mr. Trump won the electoral votes needed to be President.

I’m not going to get into the arguments over the Electoral College. But go back and look at the history of that process. It highlights the voice of the people with the interests of the states in balancing power between high-population and low-population states. (We would be remiss in failing to recognize that one of the most prominent interests of the states at the time had to do with whether they were abolitionist or pro-slavery.) So if you want to move to direct election of a president by popular vote, there’s a process for that. Pursue it.

Some people know that I never supported Mr. Trump during the election. In fact, I never liked him as a celebrity. He is a bully who has made his fortune and set his reputation through meanness, deceit, and, in my opinion, illegal means. I fear that he will continue to act in the same manner, even as the “leader of the free world.”

On the other hand, I would never have thought that I would vote for Mrs. Clinton. While her list of qualifications for President is long and she has shown moments of greatness, her past is littered with the wreckage of scandal. I’m not talking here about the multitude of, often preposterous, conspiracy theories and email controversies. I’m talking about the way that she and former President Bill Clinton built a machine to trade influence for dollars. Their hands are dirty.

But I did vote for her, because I felt the need to keep Mr. Trump from soiling the White House and the reputation of our country. That didn’t work out. This portion of my post will most likely result in many people unsubscribing from my email list and unfriending me on social media. I really regret that. But therein lies my point. Please read to the end before you unsubscribe or unfriend me. And, if you have any sense of fairness, I listened to and read a lot of ill-conceived rhetoric that some of you wrote or passed on — and I didn’t unfriend you.

I accept that Mr. Trump is the President-Elect of the United States of America. I will continue to honor the office even when I disagree with the individual who holds that office. I’ve done that in the past and I will continue to do that.

However, the positions that Mr. Trump has taken in regard to women, minorities, immigrants, and anyone who differs with him are untenable and, in most cases, abhorrent. We should not simply say that ‘everything will be all right.’ When we demean people, rob them of their dignity, and make simplistic policy decisions that ignore the underlying interests — interests that are woven into the fabric of our Constitution and our society — it is not all right. We must speak up.

I have to confess that when past presidential elections have not reflected my vote, I have simply shrugged and said, “It will be all right. Four more years. We’ll survive.” I still believe that God has all of this. I still believe that we will survive.

I believe even more strongly that we cannot just shrug and remain silent. It’s not what peacemakers do. It’s not the appropriate way to resolve conflict and to build better relationships.

Washington is broken. The Democratic Party is broken. The Republican Party is broken. Let’s not mourn that. Let’s build something better. Mr. Trump’s rejection of the Washington machinery might play into that. But only if Mr. Trump sets his personal self-interest aside and truly desires to serve this country.

A Call to Personal Action

Something different has to start with some personal action. Here’s my list:

  1. I acknowledge that I could be wrong about some things.
  2. I will do my best to know the issues, to understand the issues, and to communicate my stance in a way that helps others understand where I stand.
  3. I will continue to listen and explore when others differ with me.
  4. I will never demean another person, even when I believe they are wrong, stubborn, and disrespectful to me.
  5. I will never stand by when others demean someone else. My voice will be heard.
  6. If I discover I’m wrong, I will change my position and make amends if necessary.
  7. I will pray for our leaders and for all people — both within and without the United States.
  8. I will pray specifically for Mr. Trump.
  9. I will not tolerate bullying by anyone. While I may have no other power or authority, I have a voice. I will firmly oppose those who seek to control others for their own gain.
  10. I will encourage and work for a system that seeks the common good of all people.

That’s what I’m going to do. It’s too little too late for this election. But it’s there for the future.

So, do whatever you will. I hope you will join me even if you don’t agree with my positions on all things. That’s the wonder of America. It was built to reflect the beauty of diversity. We are better together.


Why is negativity so seductive?

In random tweets rolling across my phone this morning came this quote “Distance yourself from negativity and great things will happen.” Those words immediately captured me and my impulse was copy and share that idea repeatedly. After all, it’s a great, wise thought.

Overcoming Negativity

photo credit: Gabriel Pangilinan,

And, it’s true.

Yet, as I thought over it, I started to question why it resounded so strongly with me. Was I in quest of great things? Or did I just covet the distance from negative people, negative talk, and negative reaction?

Granted, there’s nothing bad about wanting either. But I think I would seek the distance above the greatness. Negativity makes me tired. It makes me tired when I roll in it. It makes me tired when you do. I totally understand that negativity is sometimes necessary as part of our decision-making process.

The irony of this line of reasoning is that much of the negativity I see in others is a direct byproduct of my own negative ways. When we hear a criticism — particularly if it rings true with our own experience — we jump on the bandwagon. Negativity begets negativity.

So, when I go back to look at the quote, I feel pulled to like it on the greatness side.

If you and I do great things, negativity doesn’t disappear. But it loses its power.

Be powerful today. Help someone else. Give a compliment. Step to the side and give others the time they need. Be joyful in the work you’ve been given to do. Rejoice in recreation. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Do it on your own and with others.

Experience greatness.

Voting Early

fear and relief in one action

People are rushing to the polls and voting early.  They’re driven by fear and seeking relief.

It’s not so much the same fear that has driven so much of this political season — the fear of others, the fear of loss to entitlement. It’s the fear that yet something else will be revealed about one or both of the major party candidates that will give the voters pause on their electoral decision. It’s a fear of being forced to wade back through the grit and the slime that has dominated this presidential race.

And it’s not really relief about the candidate they’ve chosen and the job he or she will do. There is that, of course. But it is a relief from doing what can be done and letting the rest of it go. It’s a relief to know that our personal role in this entire debacle is coming to a turn in the road.

Now that we’re done voting early, it’s time to take that turn on move on. There will be things to do. For one thing, we all have to come together to find a new source of leadership. This, what we have, has proven unworkable — regardless of how you vote or which party you claim.

Yes, your fear is subsiding and you feel some relief from voting early. But it’s time to get up and move toward something better. History repeats itself. People have been in worse spots before. And they have emerged, fearless and calm. Shall we ?

I may have Jesus’ phone number

or there may be other possible answers

I glanced at my phone as I was getting dressed. Hmmm. I had a text from 10:29 last night. No name, just a number. And I didn’t readily recognize the phone number or the area code.

“How can you be so wrong and I love you so much?”

At first I thought it was a wrong number. But the writer knew me — knew I was so wrong.

I thought about responding with something clever. But the Nigerian princess scenario kept popping into my mind.

Then, it hit me, this must be from Jesus! At first I entertained the idea that it might have been God, but then I thought, How ridiculous to think that God needs a smartphone.

So. Jesus then. It all fits. I am so wrong. And He loves me so much.

Freedom’s just another word for another race to lose . . .

Starting-LineAlmost all conflict, all anger, all war, all anxiety comes from fear. Fear adds an edge to all we do. It’s a voice that says, What if?

But another voice that emerges from conflict, anger, war, anxiety is that of hope. It, too, is a voice that says, What if?

If the election and the campaigns leading up to it have instilled fear . . . don’t ask, What if? as in fear. Ask, What if? as in hope.