Foster Dog revisited 9

Continuation of Foster Dog tweets from our archives. Tweeted around Christmas 2009.

Thinking conspiracy theory, Foster Dog wonders if there is a sinister connection between “swine flu” & “when pigs fly.” End times material?

After patiently waiting for snow for 2 days, Foster Dog brands local weathercaster as charlatan. Hours practicing flake-frolicking wasted.

New cushion for old doghouse. Foster dog insists on breakfast in bed.

Made the mistake of mentioning that this was Dead Day on campus. Foster Dog hopeful that this refers to squirrels.

Hearing a faint, moaning wolf-cry late last night, I asked Foster Dog, “Lonely?” “No,” she replied, “but now you’re here – Jerky Treat?”

Foster Dog revisited 8

A continuation of Foster Dog tweets from our archives (circa Thanksgiving a couple of years ago):

Celebrating near-freezing temps, Foster Dog proclaims “Squirrels Play Free” Day. No need to leave warm cushion, she explains. Unless . . .

“Squirrels Play Free” Day a scam, local tree rodent union boss warns. Foster Dog licks lips, wags tail ever so slightly.

Foster Dog suggests country venue for Thanksgiving. They have squirrels as big as cows, she says. Those are cows, I say. Whatever! she says.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #10. Sniffing . . . anything . . . and everything.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #9. Gummy Squirrel Snacks . . . large economy size.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #8. Non-Gummy Squirrel Snacks . . . attached or unattached.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #7. Those days I don’t get my ears doctored.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #6. Foster Dog-sized back porch cushions.

Foster Dog’s Gratitude List: #5. Trash can lids that are easily discarded.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #4. Long walks in the cool autumn air.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #3. Finding things left behind by others on long walks in the cool autumn air.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #2. A spirited game of chase . . . won by Foster Dog, of course.

Foster Dog’s Grateful List: #1. Homes for foster dogs.

Foster Dog Revisited 7

A continuation of Foster Dog Tweets from our archives:

Foster Dog to sue Veterinarian General over claim that chocolate is bad for dogs. Settlement possible if extra jerky treats are endorsed.

Turned away at polls, Foster Dog mounts a 1-canine campaign against discrimination. Phone efforts dismal. Paw too large to dial cell phone.

Foster Dog salutes our veterans! Thank you!

Shedding is good, Foster Dog insists. Chewing on a fallen leaf, she notes that loss of yesterday’s pride precedes donning tomorrow’s glory.

Foster Dog Revisited 6

A continuation of the Foster Dog tweets:

Oslo, Norway: Foster Dog narrowly defeated for Nobel Peace Prize. Insiders report attitude towards squirrels as a major factor.

Foster Dog seen wearing admission bracelet for ACU Homecoming Carnival. Any small children missing in the area?

Despite discovery of fibers matching those from tether in her teeth, Foster Dog denies complicity in balloon boy hoax, her agent reports.

Celebrity status brings pressure. Foster Dog considering endorsement deal . . . Foster Dog Grant Sunglasses, of course!

Discussing Halloween costumes with Foster Dog. I’m thinking Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader probably isn’t the best look for her.

Foster Dog settled on costume: Fire Dog. Then found cost of renting fire truck prohibitive. Wishes she hadn’t used permanent ink for spots.

Foster Dog Revisited 5

A continuation of the Foster Dog tweets:

Quick trip to Ft. Worth. Told Foster Dog I was going to “Cowtown.” It’s obvious that she’s expecting me to bring a cow home for dinner.

Having no cow-in-tow, I was subjected to Foster Dog’s reenactment of the Bataan Death March tonight on our walk. No mercy for laggards!

Foster Dog asleep in the grass. Slowly rolls on her back with legs skyward. Sudden sneeze launches her to a classic hunting pose. Intrepid!

Our walk was diverted to the video store. Foster Dog picked “Wolverine” for some reason. Jeremy picked popcorn & candy. I picked up the tab.

Burgers grilling. Foster Dog on watch for squirrel gang. Couldn’t bring myself to tell her squirrels have very low interest in burgers.