An Eye for What Can Be

Struggling with Art
Photo by Alice Dietrich on Unsplash

My existence has been marked by short-lived aspirations. I think it’s because I have not always had an eye for what can be.

One of the many little known facts about me is that I was an art minor in college. I started as a biology major with a chemistry minor when I thought I wanted to be a doctor. That didn’t go as planned. So I changed colleges and my major and I needed a minor.

I always wanted to be an artist. I marveled at those who could sit for a little while with pencil or brush and a bit of paper or a frame of canvas and then step away from something worth keeping and looking at again and again.

The fact that I had never shown any gifts in anything involving the arts escaped me as a 20 year old. After all, I was going to college to learn and there was an entire department of artists who could give me what I needed from a mechanical standpoint. Right?

I spent two years in various art classes. I did learn some valuable things about design. I never developed into a fine artist. Some years later, I discovered what I lacked. I never developed an eye for what can be. I lacked the curiosity and discipline to explore with my eyes and to project that potential on another plane. I had no energy set aside for failure along the way.

I did fail — a lot. Fortunately, I have always had a practical view of things. And all of my art projects from those years now occupy landfills and have become compost in hopes of some sort of future value and contribution. As each work of art went into the trash bin, I let go of my earlier desires to be an artist.

Art didn’t call me. More correctly, I didn’t answer its call.

I’ve come to that point in my life when I can have regrets over skills that went undeveloped. Or, I can develop an eye for what can be.

I am afraid that many of us have grown weary when the art of our life hasn’t measured up to our expectations. Yet, each day gives us a new palette of colors and, if not a clean canvas, one that still has promise.

We just need an eye for what can be.

Photo by Alice Dietrich on Unsplash

4 Comments

  1. It is surprising what can be made of what looks like someone dropped a can of paint on a canvas. One doesn’t usually see it in the short term but God & time can turn it into something far more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

    • Ken, I like it that God gives us the ability to create and insists that he supply the raw materials. Everything of beauty created by us is simply a remix of what he had already done. Can’t get any better than that. Hope you are doing well, my friend!

  2. Joey, my eyes fill with tears as I am reading this. This is so me. Many aspirations, and yes, art was one of mine too! And, music. I used to sit at the piano and play the little that I had figured out on my own with beginner piano books and wait for the next chord to form on the keys. The longing to create was such a deep desire but never satisfied. That inner drive still remains.
    Partnering with the Lord over the years I have had to lay my expectations down, and learn to be mindful of the joy in creating differently. Like a delicious meal that brings happiness to those God brings to my table. Or, the happiness on the face of my students who reach their goals. Thank you for your timely musings – gentle yet powerful.

    • Susan, I was surprised a good many years back. I had told a friend that I was mystified by some of the things I was being asked to do. I simply didn’t see myself as having the skill set that was needed. My friend kindly pointed out that I could see those things if I looked more at the faces of the people I was serving and concentrated less on the clumsiness of my hands. In addition to my attempts at art, I too have a piano and a banjo that I really want to play. But, at least right now, my attention is drawn to other things and other people. I remember our conversations in Abilene years ago. Your passions are evident and are being honored in the way you live your life. The paintbrushes and sketch pads and piano concertos hold their attractive powers, but God will help us see and be part of our creative work. Blessings, my friend!

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